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The Magpie

Saturday, November 5th, 2016   |   118 comments

LNP Lunacy: Are They Handing Townsville – And Maybe Queensland – On A Platter To The One Notion Nutters?

Bedrock northern support and its attendant money is fleeing the LNP faster than arts patrons are fleeing the Perc Tucker Gallery … both scenarios make little or no sense … The Magpie updates on both.

Meanwhile, Kid Crisafulli is lurking in the wings.

Adding insult to injury – not only are the latest Astonisher readership figures further down the tubes, the Townsville paper is now bested by the Cairns Post in real terms.

The cleverest front page of the year (no, not The Astonisher – as if!)

But first …

Clinton:trump

The world stands with buttocks clenched for the next few days, as Americans go to the polls to choose their lesser of two weevils to infest the White House for the next four years. Y’know, it’s almost as though we’ve all been forced to participate in an elaborate Candid Camera prank, and next Thursday, The Trumpet and The Clint will be arm in arm telling the cameras ‘fooled you, we’ve been mates for years’. If only … but you do so wish that were true when you look at some supporters.

goofball

Note the ring on the left hand … this bloke is MARRIED! Talk about a creepy ‘Honey, I’m home’ scenario! Bentley is bemused by it all …

white house copyOne of the cleverest front pages to precisely sum up the fractured mood of America comes from the New Yorker … it works beautifully, no matter who wins.

NY toon

From this distance, you’d think that the bizarre antics would severely limit the number of tosses one could give, but unfortunately, either way, Australia will feel the effects of the outcome. Pauline for PM, anyone?

The LNP’s WTF Moment

Pauline’s ambitions seem to have just a got a boost in the power politics department, courtesy of the LNP.

sam cox

When the LNP power brokers refused to endorse energizer bunny Sam Cox for an almost certain victory run against the inept and egotistical Coralee O’Rort in Mundingburra, The ‘Pie was as flummoxed as anybody else. And he remains that way. Cox lost mainly because of Campbell Newman, but now he has run foul of the Brisbane hierarchy for sticking up for Townsville and sticking it up Canberra (i.e. ‘LNP’ coalition) over lack of funding for the CBD stadium. With a Labor-like memory for retribution against someone deemed ‘outspoken’, the pre-selectors duly decided on self-inflicted wounds and knocked Sam back.

Indeed one Magpie source (not Sam, he’s played the gentleman publicly so far, although he’s no doubt as hurt and surprised as anyone) said that the party’s state Campaign Director of the LNP Lincoln Folo told Sam he ‘would never be selected again’.

The ripples from this vindictive decision will be washing over all of the state for a while to come, and has already caused a mini-panic in LNP ranks … for a number of very practical reasons.

Both money and potential local candidates have disappeared down rabbit holes at a startling rate. The Burdekin-based Cox family – enormous LNP donors in the past – will almost certainly slam the till closed. The ‘Pie is reliably told that other like-minded folk like David Carmichael will continue to do likewise, as is predicted to be the case with lesser publicly known backers such as graziers Henry and Sue Atkinson, life long members, who are said to be telling others they might not renew their membership. Even the bluest-of-the-blue, Tom Darlington is wondering if membership is worth the candle.

LNP membership is way down already, and this will perhaps bring things down to the ‘dire’ category. Deeply committed stalwarts like Peg Holborn , a member of the state council for many years and Peter Lindsay are said to be unimpressed to say the least.

They are not on their own and alarm bells sounded down into Brisbane to the extent that Senator Ian Macdonald called what he apparently termed a ‘crisis’ dinner meeting last Monday night with committee members from all branches.  LNP Coordinator for FNQ Dennis Quick came down from Cairns. This is not the sort of meeting from which to expect a media release – indeed, the meeting was understandably not for public attention, The ‘Pie can report there were apparently some thin-lipped free character readings over the pinot noir.

Under the current circumstances, no one of any worthwhile political value has put themselves forward as local candidates. That creates the very real possibility that the three Townsville-based state seats could be ‘gifted’ to One Notion candidates. (And no, it’s is NOT a typo.) Even independent Geoff Virgo – sacked One Notion candidate last election – is going to have a go at Mundingburra. (Be the Irony Award of the Month if the man Pauline sacked for speaking out won the seat … she first got into parliament when she was sacked by John Howard – for speaking out! Life can be so circular at times.)

Seems former member for Townsville John Hathaway won’t stand again, but has agreed to the thankless role of Regional Chair. It’ll need to be a sofa to have a lie down on before this is all over.

Meanwhile, The Kid Plays Long Game Politics

Politics and conspiracy theories go together like Gina Rinehart and doughnuts, so the word du jour is that Tim Nicholls could’ve – but didn’t – stand up for Sam in the pre-selection stoush, because he knew Sam, who would be almost certain to win, would support the resurgence of David Kid Crisafulli.

David Crisafulli

David Crisafulli

Crisafulli is without question a LNP ‘great white(ish) hope’ and The ‘Pie sticks with his long-standing prediction that he will be Queensland Premier one day. Nicholls is on the nose as wishy-washy, ineffective and unable to land any telling blows on a vulnerable Anna Alphabet and her hapless crew – not that he has to, they’re doing the job well enough themselves.

The Kid, idling his time away down on the southern coast making a motza in the private world of finance, is biding his time, waiting for the result of a current boundary redistribution. He intends to stand for a newly created seat if it is safe enough. Which it will be, by the looks of things. If not, wife Tegan can flog some of her fancy fascinators to the tottering Eagle Farm ladies to keep the kids in school uniforms.

Perc Tucker Update

Here’s an update on Monday’s meeting of the Arts Advisory Committee with the council to discuss concerns about gallery management.

Dr Jonathpon McBurnie

A major spokesman for the arts community is Umbrella gallery boss Dr Johnathan McBurnie, who told The Magpie:

There were some outcomes that we were happy with, provided that as an advisory committee, these outcomes (or actions) are actually taken on board, rather than dismissed. The primary of these, unilaterally, was in response to the very serious threat of Perc Tucker Regional Gallery losing its DGR status (ATO guidelines insist upon arms-length governance of institutions with DGR status through a board), and that a board needs to be not a consideration for the future, but instituted now, amid the restructure. This is the only real option for TCC in terms of actual damage control of this situation. Other issues of concern were the combined General Manager roles of Libraries and Galleries and Performing arts and Sports, as one would suppose. Council does insist that each of these roles is supervisory, and that there will be a ‘Team Leader’ role that will be rolled out subsequently. These are the kind of resolutions that can begin to combat the damage already done, if they are acted upon. If they are dismissed out of hand, we know what the outcome will be.

And another take on the same meetings from comments during the week. Biggly lefty

November 1, 2016 at 4:19 pm (Edit)

2nd hand/good authority…there was a 30 minute lecturette by Mayor Mullet about nothing to do with gallery services after which she made an exit stage right. Then those councillors present gave the good arts people some written homework to come up with, possible board governance structure- (to keep them busy and out of council hair one might suspect) but all said and done the positions of “team leaders” for libraries and galleries have been advertised. Council scored well for seeming to consult with community whilst going ahead with Nous recommendations. Kilometres down the track….zero. And you are right Pie…this is not going away.

Maybe, but don’t underestimated the mendacity of this council.

And The Latest Numbers Show The Paper Can’t Afford To Piss People Off

The latest readership figures dropped with a thud yesterday, showing the iditor Ben ‘Bogan’ English can revel in the knowledge that he has been in charge while the Bulletin zoomed down into second place behind the Cairns Post.

First, the numbers from the Roy Morgan polling people.

Screen shot 2016-11-04 at 3.22.10 PM

Screen shot 2016-11-04 at 3.22.25 PM

Points of Interest:

*The Bulletin trails its sister paper the Cairns Post in reader numbers – despite having considerably higher circulation (copies sold) – M-F 18,194 to Cairns 15,863. Saturday circs are almost even – Bulletin 26121 to Cairns slightly better 26872, but as you can see, our northern neighbours have 10,000 more readers than the Astonisher.

* Peter ‘Typo’ Gleeson continues to oversee the spectacular decline of the Sunday Mail under his editorship, down 51,000 readers, or 6% for the year ended June. Well done, mate, they way things go at News, you’re in for another promotion.

* Unlike the fate of Cath Webber at the Gold Coast Bulletin, who actually GAINED significant reader numbers in the financial year just gone, before she herself was ‘just gone’, suddenly and inexplicably marched out of the editors chair and into a sideways ‘senior editorial position’ in Sydney. Gold Coast grub, Mayor Tom Tate claimed he was responsible for getting Ms Webber removed. News denied this claim, which means it’s probably true.

Here’s Just Another Reason The Bulletin Is Not to Be Trusted

In yesterday’s paper, we had the front page story about knives and other naughtiness allegedly being made by crims in the Stuart Prison workshop. This earth-shattering news – must be, it was on the front page – was penned by earth-shattering Doomagee correspondent Chris McMahon. He breathlessly tells us that prison guards believe it is only a matter of time until someone is killed at the hands of an out-of-control prisoner.

Ripping stuff… until we get in a bit further in and are told: ‘Previously the metal shop had been run by custodial staff but as a cost saving measure, management hired people to work in the metal shop. Staff have been replaced with three guys in there who haven’t got clue.’ Mr McMahon’s unnamed source goes on about the dangers of this situation, clearly citing under-staffing and the lack of warders’ oversight in the metal shop for the situation ‘so dangerous that guards often refuse to open the cells for fear of their safety and that they (would be) outnumbered’.

But it turns out what we have here is, in the words from Cool Hand Luke, ‘a failure to communicate’ anything that can be substantiated, and with such a lack of evidence, simply appears to be a union gripe about loss of members amongest the jail’s workforce. Now that in itself is OK, even the boofheaded OTT exaggeration of cells remaining locked etc (the official Prison Visitor and inmates’ lawyers would all over that in a flash).

What is not OK is Mr McMahon stating all his information as unchallenged fact. Believe it or not, although it is the one time when it would have been appropriate, the paper’s otherwise favourite, and usually misused, word ‘alleged’ is nowhere to be seen. And this is compounded by what is simply one of the most irresponsible and mendacious edtiorials this iditor has written in a long time. Embarrassing and demeaning doesn’t even start to cover claims that ‘The government could soon have prison blood on its hands’, and he repeats union members claims unchallenged and stated as fact. It becomes even more cringe-worthy when he Iditor English writes:

Oh, FFS. They read papers in jail, Ben, even the Bulletin (cruel and unnatural punishment though it may be). If anything of this nature happens, rest in the knowledge that your seeking of cheap thrills with an outrageous beat-up will have played its part.

Speaking Of Proof

The ‘Pie leaves you with the very essence, respect and civility of the US Presidential Campaign, summed up in a single pic.

Michelle obama

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