Also, by George! What to do when you don’t turn up your toes on cue – an inspirational little yarn from one of Townsville’s stalwarts.
And Bentley is bemused by the carry on in George Street about the independent Member for Cook, Billy Gordon..
But first, vale Ritchie, we really will miss you. In crucial ways, you were us.
When well known people pass on, there is a lot of what is now known as recreational grief, but the death of Richie Benaud is something else again, for part of grieving really will be for ourselves. He became an embedded part of the Australian cultural fabric, his voice as much a part of our summer as the squeaking and slamming of a screen door or the splashing of the surf. Paul Zanetti paid him a gentle and undoubtedly shared tribute.
It just won’t be the same.
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Before that neat contribution, Zanetti was none to happy with the arrogance of Apple ripping off the Australian taxpayer with it’s dodgy tax avoidance shenanigans
The disturbing recent news that there is to be yet another eponymously-named political party – the Jaqui Lambie Network, for God’s sake – and the announcement was followed by a heartfelt plea by La Lambie that she needed her own cartoonist. No idea why, she is the cartooning world’s dream as it is, but one bloke who applied for the job showed he’s up to the gig, channeling (Clive) Garfield for Crikey.
But maybe Queensland is about to see the creation of a new party, which be called the Billy-Bob Bootscooters maybe. Our own Bentley was intrigued by the carry on about Billy Gordon, the member for Cook who has resisted calls to resign from Parliament when it was discovered that he had a colorful criminal past. Bentley reckons perhaps the Katter experience persuaded him to stay on.
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Moving on.
The ‘Pie has never met or had any dealings with Gold Coast shyster Craig Gore (despite his childish and short-lived attempt to sue The Magpie when the old bird was with The Bulletin) but there seems to be contrasting opinions of the man from those who have met and dealt with him.
Craig Gore
It is said that when he is smooth-talking potential marks for his latest investment venture, he oozes charm like a self-saucing pudding oozes chocolate. There are others who suggest he is personally the most overbearing and obnoxious creature imaginable, with all the couth, manners and aggression of a polecat on heat.
Obviously hell bent on outdoing the reputation his crooked father Mike – the progenitor of the Gold Coast’s White Shoe Brigade who was forced to flee Australia for Canada – in fleecing others of their hard earned, Gore has long ago outshone is Pa. He and his wife, who rejoices in the exotic moniker Marina Ulrika Lovisa Gore and is a former Gold Coast good time gal, have obviously taken to heart the family motto ‘Open Your Wallet and Repeat After Me: Help Yourself.’ (Interesting side note: in a fancy side-step in a recent matter, Gore briefly changed his name to Jackson Morgan-Phoenix … the last name apparently being a defiant finger to his naysayers).
Well, this week is going to be an interesting one for Mr Gore – that is, ‘interesting’ in the sense of the Chinese/Arabic curse. Because our boy comes out of his second bankruptcy on Friday, but that may have little effect on his future plans involving the Yasi-damaged Port Hinchinbrook Resort at Cardwell. Because next Tuesday, a Federal Court judge will hand down his findings in the case brought by the Australian Securities and Investment Commission (ASIC) against Gore for allegedly siphoning off $4million from investors into a company controlled by his missus. The judgment, 17 months in the slow-grinding judicial mill, runs to 100 pages. There will be no end of interested readers, since Gore isn’t lonely in the dock, there are up to a dozen other individual and corporate defendants. And that’s not to mention the hundreds of ripped-off investors.
If all this seems a bit out of The Magpie’s patch, it isn’t, really, if you noticed the reference to the Port Hinchinbrook sale.
If Gore is cleared of any naughtiness by the Federal Court, he will almost certainly – openly or clandestinely – progress plans to go mug-hunting for Hinchinbrook investors through a company he controls from behind the scenes (as a ‘consultant) called Long Term Settlement Contracts (LTSC). This style of investing, already operating in Victoria, appears a classic self-serving Gore invention, open to all sorts of creative accounting.
This is how Crikey’s Adam Schwab summed it up in his tongue-in-cheek annual business awards last December.
The John Howard Lazarus Rising Award
As they say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me — as for thrice, well, that honour may well belong to anyone foolish enough to invest in Craig Gore’s alleged latest venture, LTSC. Billed as “tomorrow’s property today”, its website bills LTSC (which for some reason is trademarked, just in case you were thinking of using the acronym) as “revolutionising the way people invest in property, helping investors and future home owners take advantage of long term growth [and] capitalise on profits made in tomorrow’s property market without massive cash outlays”. Gore himself isn’t the face of the venture — the twice-bankrupt son of former bankrupt Mike Gore, is still bankrupt and awaiting a decision by the Federal Court in relation to ASIC’s action against him for siphoning more than $4 million from investors. Instead, the business appears to be led by Matthew Aird, who was described as an “up and coming property investor” — it is understood that Aird’s last job was as a telemarketer.
Gotta love that last line, kinda encapsulates the whole deal.
But – as reported in last week’s blog – with Marina Gore reported to be setting up offices in Cardwell and the couple said to be setting up house in Mission Beach, it’s more than a fair bet that LTSC will start a blitz of telemarketing for ‘mum and dad’ investors, a favorite Gore target.
A dead and rotting whale on Cardwell beach would do the community less damage than a scam and failure involving the local resort.
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There’s a new Labor hat in the ring for the federal seat of Herbert.
One Patricia Schluter is looking back towards Canberra, having come from there a year or so ago to spend a stint as Mayor Mullet’s executive assistant. She was co-opted from there to run the campaigns for the local Labor candidates in the recent state election, and the result means heaps of political brownie points for her. The ‘Pie understands she is a member of the Townsville branch of the Labor Party, so is out of the immediate reach of any jiggery-pokery by some more entrenched wannabes and power brokers (hi, Jenny, and you prowling out there, too, Snooze?)
The ‘Pie hears Little Patty is keen to have a tilt at Dumbo Jones, who just simply refuses to get any backroom folks of enough nous and clout to make him keep his mouth shut, or at least be politically aware when he opens it. (For Christ’s sake, Prince Peter, can’t you have a stern word with this political ingenue, or, mate, really it will mean an embarrassing pre-selection for a sitting member?)
None of the hoarse whispers down the MagpieFone could say to which faction Little Patty belongs, and as a disinterested observer, The ‘Pie thinks that might just be a plus for her.
Cathy O’Toole would seem to have the candidacy sewn up, and it would be hard to say that she hasn’t put in the hard yards, talking up intended good deeds and being suitably caring and sharing enough to satisfy the faithful. BUT – and not wishing to visit the vain sins of the brother-in-law Capt Snooze Reynolds on the sister-in-law, Cathy is a symbol of the old, tired and out-moded Labor model, riven by factionalism and the entitlement of ‘time in the queue’. Cathy may have a strong contribution to make, but unless she is willing to be brave and embrace a new look Labor model, that old style is the political cloak she will have to wear.
The way The ‘Pie reads it is that the city’s rapid growth has seen an influx of more flexible and informed voters than the sad, knuckle-dragging rump that skulks around town whingeing about everything except their party’s own ineptitude and lack of united vision. The newcomers will be looking for a more progressive approach, while not wanting Labor to embrace the excesses of the far-right born-to-rule hysteria of the previous State government and the current dog’s dinner in Canberra.
So Little Patty will be up against an entrenched dynasty (sounds grand but it’s really quite sad) but if she can present a fresh approach, first to the faithful to mount a successful pre-selection campaign, and then convince the electorate she’s the goods, then Ewen Jones may well just get his just desserts … a return from the electorate of the finger he continually gives them. We’ll see.
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Hey it wouldn’t be a Magpie’s Nest without a mention of The Astonisher, but don’t fret, that’s an unlikely happenstance.
First, the brickbats.
This is self-explanatory from the blog comments during the week.
Mugwump April 7, 2015 at 2:03 pm (Edit)
This seems a bit too much of a coincidence that this article appears on the same weekend as the Reclaim Australia Rally.
The first bit of the article reads like it may of occurred, but no reference to anyone at Woolworths for their side of the story. The mention of Burka’s by this woman just reeks of a publicity stunt on the same weekend as the Reclaim Australia Rally gets headlines Good old Bully, falling for the 3 card trick
The Magpie April 7, 2015 at 2:39 pm (Edit) Seems your right on the money, Mugwump, The ‘Pie has been delving into this little escapade himself. For God’s sake, just how gullible is the Townsville Bulletin, they’ve been taken for a monumental ride in today’s paper. Yet another Steggles Egg On Face Trophy for the Astonisher’s overcrowded mantlepiece, which could’ve been easily avoided if they had indulged in their favourite pastime of trolling the internet.
The paper has been conned beautifully, with their mystifying and confusing take on the strange claims of one Susan Hilbourne …
Susan Hilbourne
. … whose indignation about a supermarket accusing her of being a security risk just didn’t add up. And Woolworth’s cautious and VERY carefully worded reply should surely have raised some suspicions down at the Astonisher.
But no.
Clearly the story raised more questions than provided answers, and the line of the reporters questioning seems amateurish and inadequate in the extreme. ESPECIALLY when it now appears that Ms Hilbourne is associated with an anti-Islamic site. The ‘Pie cannot readily locate the site, but is willing to trust the source of his information. This may well mean that she is known to Woolworth’s national security people, because the company has been so heavily targeted in the anti-halal campaign. AND it was the weekend of the demonstrations by Australia’s frightened little bigots squeaking their panic under the ridiculous banner Reclaim Australia. There may have been much more to Woolworth’s alleged actions.
But hats off to the lady who was told to take her hat off – she pulled off the best free plug she’s ever likely to get, courtesy of the wide-eyed innocence of the Astonisher. Credibility is everything in the news industry, and this empty shell of a once fine publication continues to prove it ran out of credit some years ago.
One might say, hoist by their own journalistic retard.
But now some bouquets, although it’s disappointing when congratulating the paper for something they should be doing all the time. Nevertheless, there a couple of national class headlines during the week.
The pick of the two was this back page effort when the ‘Boys comprehensively beat the more fancied Penrith Panthers.
Sort of an Ita Buttrose special.
And then the local Greens dingbat, unapologetic about her party’s deluded and dangerous Facebook posting supporting the neanaderthal notion that vaccinations are universally bad things.
Let’s ignore the fact that the headline is editorialising in itself – still clever and in this case, most apt.
And those idiots out there who swallow this irresponsible vax crap, pay attention to the following.
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Bumped into George Colbran the other day, a rare feat since he is a globetrotter par excellence since he stopped flogging Big Macs. He has obviously forgiven the smart-arse Pie for his jibes at political candidature when the old bird dubbed McGeorge Allbran, with the suggestion his campaign for higher office carried the slogan ‘Do you want lies with that?’ In fact, George was way too honest to be any good at politics.
He told The ‘Pie a heartening yarn that certainly had some resonance for the old bird in the current circumstances.
George said it was almost 17 years ago to the day that he bought a modest little house on Magnetic Island shortly after he had been diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphona.
‘I bought the place as a quite haven where I could go and spent my remaining time with some sort of tranquility with my wife and family,’ he told The ‘Pie. He said at that stage, he figured he didn’t have much time to go..
But modern medicine, which technically includes sophisticated vaccinations (are you twits listening out there?) sees George still with us, and he’s as bouncy as Dolly Parton’s bouncy parts. And how. George is perpetually on the move.
Shortly after our chat, George and Mrs.C zoomed up to Cairns for a couple of days for family, then down to Sydney for a quick medical confab, then head off to Osaka, Japan for a few weeks, before they will pop back here briefly before heading off to the US and Canada to explore the inland passage up to the Artic (yes, yes, thank you, keep the witticisms to yourselves, please). Then it’s over to Copenhagen to another ship, to nose around the Baltic states.
“We’ll be back then for another overseas trip … to Maggie, for a rest,’ he said.
A jealous Magpie, by this time greener than Christine Milne with envy, decided he really was McGeorge Allbran with that lifestyle … he was certainly giving the envious ‘Pie the tom-tits.
But bon voyage, George, you’ve earned it and you deserve it. And anyone who doubts that, cast a glance as you drive by the excellent Ronald MacDonald House out at the hospital and the great new cancer ward they now have.
And you anti-vaccination folk: sorry to say, but their ain’t no needle or nostrum to cure irresponsible stupidity. Just try not to damage your kids.
Enough now, it is away to Poseurs” Bar, but a business chum has warned the old bird to be careful after a confrontation he had at work recently.
